walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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