you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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