She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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