Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Randomize
