Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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