I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I need a beard to bite.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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