Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
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