You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
