HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
