So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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