I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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