i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
