none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Randomize
