According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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