you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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