THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
