no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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