Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
