I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
