Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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