just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
