my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
