I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
