just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
