I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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