i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Randomize
