before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
