You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
