There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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