i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
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