We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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