At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
