guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
