guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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