His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
