I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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