I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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