So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
if only i could text you this smell
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
