had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
