whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
