so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
