She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
