I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
