i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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