I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize