I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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