We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Randomize
