I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
