can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
