Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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