Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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