Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
