hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
