sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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